


Down for the Count

by staticfiction



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Contemporary Romance AU, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Forced Cohabitation, Forced Proximity, Hate You/Love You, High Feels Low Angst, Sungjin is a Tsundere, Sungjin is an MMA Fighter, flangst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-10-16 11:02:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17548457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/staticfiction/pseuds/staticfiction
Summary: How do you roll with the punches life throws at you? MMA fighter Park Sungjin is up for the fight of his life, but his fists are put on hold with his mentor's untimely death. Honour bound to follow through his coach's last will and testament, Sungjin contacts his coach's estranged daughter, Son Rian.When her father bequeaths all his property to her, including the gym and studio, all Rian can think of is how this can better serve her rising career as a chocolatier. But all good things come with condition, and Rian needs to spend one hundred days at the studio before she can claim it for herself and sell to the highest bidder.The catch? Sungjin lives there too and he's determined to change her mind.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a beta! Huzzah. Thank you Vika. You're a life saver.

 

There is a moment after a storm when all is quiet and a sense of calm settles in.

It is when the world comes to a pause and there is nothing else but the beauty that manifests after nature’s violence. For there is beauty in violence. There is music in the harsh treble of knuckle against jaw, the thudding bass of fist against abdomen, and the hollow baritone that echoes in the chest of an opponent in the split-second before his defeat.

Sungjin fought for this moment of peace.

Some took to the ring for pleasure, some fought for glory, and others fought for power, but Sungjin fought because he was good at it. He found no meaning when an opponent fell to the floor in sweat and blood, neither did he fight to loom over the beaten and the broken, nor was it for the victory and the spoils. Sungjin fought for the strain of muscle and the ache of sinew, for the bruises and the cuts, and the way the brutality blocked the world around him. For it was when he was nothing but muscle and movement, bone and force, strike and grapple that he knew the truth of himself and of the world.

In the ring, he was in his element.

And when he was in his element, he was an immovable force.

But this, right now, on his way to face an opponent outside the ring, was the calm _before_ the shitstorm.

As Sungjin approached his destination, he took in the storefront and the large panel windows, _The Rose and Lavender_ it said in deep swirling script plated in gold. From the front, the tiny shop appeared as though it were about to burst through the space it occupied between the two other shops surrounding it. There were more shades of pink than he could care to identify, and far more lace and frills than he would ever care for in this lifetime. Through the windows he made out a display of chocolate houses, tea cakes, and fine porcelain. Under the midday sun, the view was absolutely nauseating.

Just so irritatingly _sweet_.

This was not how his morning was supposed to be going. He was supposed to be training for his comeback. When he met Hwang Chansung for the second time, it would be the biggest bout of his career thus far, and with the biggest returns. Money. Sponsorship. Representation. Sungjin would be set for at least a few more seasons. He needed to win, and to win he needed intensive physical conditioning, undisturbed sleep, good food . . .

And absolutely no distractions.

This was his last task before he could hole himself up in the studio.

 _His_ studio.

He preferred a cage fight, two against him, to this, but what had to be done must be done.

Inwardly, Sungjin cursed. The last time he had seen Son Rian, his coach and mentor’s daughter, she’d been in middle school and her father had just been about to leave her and her mother behind. He’d hoped to have seen them at the coach’s funeral almost eight months ago, and he’d sent them word of his sudden death, but perhaps it was asking for too much.

And standing at her storefront, coming in unannounced and perhaps even unwelcome, he was about to ask for the impossible.

With a determined exhale, Sungjin stepped up to the door and pushed the latch open. A bright silver bell chimed at the door, catching the attention of the shopkeepers and the two guests for the morning. The all-female staff and patronage stared at him with a curious, albeit suspicious, glint in their eyes. Reasonable enough, Sungjin thought. A cute shop like this did not expect a man like him to walk through their doors. As soon as he walked in, he felt the room shrink around him, so much that if he were to carelessly shrug his shoulders, the whole shop might burst. He checked himself, made sure he was in perfect control of the space he occupied—that he was no threat to anyone or anything despite the way he looked like he was always ready for a fight.

His eyes scanned the front room. “I’m looking for Son Rian.”

And who else should appear in his line of sight?

Rian stood beneath the arched doorway with a tray of teacakes in her hands. She was definitely _not_ fifteen anymore, but he recognized the annoyed pinch of her pink lips and the scrunch of her nose. He’d teased her mercilessly when they were younger just so she’d make this exact face at him and until her cheeks burned pink. She’d always been so prim and proper, a picture of perfection with her black hair, wide brown eyes, and delicate complexion.

“I’m very busy, as you can see.”

Sungjin suppressed a shiver from the cold slice beneath the otherwise saccharine tone of her words. But if there was ever anything Sungjin was used to by now, it was looking a challenge in the eye and daring it to make a move.

Concentrate. Anticipate. React.

Those were his coach’s words. That’s what a fighter does, he’d said to Sungjin. Concentrate on the opponent. Anticipate their next move. React.

Concentrating on Rian was a complicated task. It was easy looking at her. He didn’t even have to _try_. The challenge was to look and not want to see that sleek ponytail undone and her dark hair tangled between his fingers and her cheeks a deep shade of rose and damp with sweat as she panted beneath him. Or on top of him.

He shook the thought away.

She was his late coach’s daughter. It was wrong to think of her that way. It had always been wrong to think of her that way. But outside the cage, Sungjin couldn’t think. Fighting always brought his best focus, and he was at a loss now.

Taking a careful step forward, he drew an unseen breath and pulled his eyes away from the neckline of her pale blue dress. “It’s about your father.”

As if Rian hadn’t heard him, she went ahead and set the fine plates of bite-sized cakes onto the table where a woman in a business suit sat. Sungjin stood his ground, undeterred by the glances and the whispers. He’d been at the receiving end of much harsher glances and whispers that came with the aftermath of the only defeat of his mixed martial arts career and the sudden death of his mentor and father figure. A couple of girls staring was nothing compared to that.

He’d anticipated her dismissal of him, it was one of the dozen scenarios he’d prepared for coming to this morning’s confrontation. Fortunately, Sungjin was also used to being ignored and underestimated. When he was fourteen, he was scrawny boy with too many bullies and no future to look forward to. Coach had found him in an alleyway, curled into a ball and taking in the damage with no idea how to roll with the punches. He took Sungjin in, taught him how to focus his wrath into something productive, trained him to punch and kick and grapple. At eighteen he won his first cage fight simply because he didn’t look the part.

He might not have been the son his father wanted, but at least he was the champion his coach had always known he could be.

So he reacted accordingly.

“I only need a few minutes of your time.”

That, and her seal and signature. He clutched at the manila folder tucked under his arm.

Rian retreated into the kitchen and came out about a minute later with another tray, this time with a dainty teapot and a delicate flowery cup. She served it to the other occupied table where a young girl sat.

“I won’t take up much of your time. I only came up here to—“

“Offer me your most deepest condolences?” Her tone was polite, but her body language and the dark look in her eyes were anything but. She looked ready to fight him. But she wouldn’t. Because she’s Son Rian. “That’s very kind of you.”

The young girl looked up at her with sadness in her eyes, but Rian only shook her head ruefully and smiled back. Gently, she said, “Nothing for you to worry about, princess.”

Then Rian lifted her gaze back up at him. “I appreciate your visit.”

She did not.

“But I deeply apologise, now is not a good time,” she continued, hands folded by her waist.

“I’m afraid it can’t wait,” Sungjin answered, lifting the envelope.

Her eyes strained at his words, but she kept it all in. After a fleeting glance at the other people in the room, she tilted her head toward the direction of the arched doorway, gesturing for him to follow her into the kitchen. The smell of rich dark chocolate and tea spices filled his nose as soon as he entered the tiny space. He was in her ring now.

As if to lord that fact over him, Rian stirred a pot of chocolate with a ladle, intent on treating him as she always had. Dismissively. But through her act he could see that her shoulders were drawn tense. So tense, Sungjin could feel his own muscles twisting into his tendons.

“I’m sure it was lovely,” she said, “but I’m sure you can understand why I couldn’t bear to make an appearance.”

“Pardon?”

She paused her stirring to look up at him. “The funeral. I’m sure it was very touching.”

“It was quiet.” That was as much as he could say about it. It had been a low point for him and their team.

“What is it that you want from me?”

“Coach—your father—left a will.”

“If he’s given you everything, I’ve already expected as much and have accepted this outcome.”

“Then you have no objections?”

“I’m very sorry for your loss, but other than that I can’t imagine what business you might have with me.”

Sungjin set the envelope down on an empty countertop. “Just this. And your seal and signature.”

Rian wiped her hands on a dishcloth and reached for the documents. In it was her father’s final letter, instructions in case of an untimely death. Sungjin had only been half-surprised to read what was in it, but the expression on Rian’s face as she read through told him she hadn’t seen any of this coming. But she understood as much as he did. This was serious.

The air prickled around them.

As the words left her mouth, her quiet solemn tone unnerved him more than he cared to admit. Everything he had worked for, everything that gave his life purpose, was slowly slipping away from his grasp.

“No. I don’t think I will sign this.”

 

 

  
Rian stared at him.

She was having a wonderful month as it were, what with her tiny cozy tea shop world, this utterly stable centre of her universe, blooming with delicate crystallised mint leaves and candied lavender petals. Her window display, a little dark chocolate house with candied oranges settled in the middle of an enchanted forest, was just about ready to be broken off and passed around to the children who visited her shop every third weekend of the month. She’d been looking forward to yielding the magic to the little children who wanted to eat it up, but who else had come knocking at her door?

A most persistent and personal thorn at her side.

Of course.

Park Sungjin had always been the villain of her quaint little fairy tale. Ever since her father took him in as a student, he’d made her life unbearable. Sungjin had been a rough-mannered splinter that got under her skin, and even now it seemed he hadn’t tired of dismantling everything she worked for.

Like serenity, for one. How dare he come into her shop looking like…well…looking like _that_ in his jeans and dark hoodie. There was no mistaking the smooth profile of his annoyingly perfect nose, his strong jaw, the wide breadth of his shoulders.

Rian was no stranger to men like him. Her father was a boxer, though later in his career he was more known for his losses than his wins. Many had come to train under him regardless, but it wasn’t until Sungjin that her father rose to fame once again, this time as a coach. Sungjin carried the same atmosphere with him, an aura that changed the energy in the room. Made the air prickle with danger. She’d always felt that prickle any time Sungjin was around. He carried things with him the same way some men would carry arrogance or perhaps bravado. Things like intensity. Strength. He held it in, but only just so. And that was the draw in his vivid eyes, the promise of danger. Adventure.

Then he spoke. A warm voice, not loud but rich with life it filled the entire shop and wrapped itself around Rian.

And now he was in her kitchen. Her tiny kitchen that felt even smaller now that he was in it and taking up so much space.

Sungjin’s eyes flared at her. “I think I misheard you.”

She raised her chin, her nerves hidden under a professional, assertive calm. “I’m sure you haven’t taken that many blows to the head. You heard me quite correctly. I won’t sign these documents.”

“But you said—“

“I know what I said.” She turned to face him head on. “I said I’ve accepted that my father might not have bequeathed me any of his assets, but this does change things. Doesn’t it?”

“You’re not considering it.”

“I might be.” Though she was finding it difficult to think clearly when he was watching her so closely. “Surely, you’ve anticipated that much coming to me with something like this.”

She’d only had time to quickly scan the letter, but the gist of it was her father had left her the studio. The property was hers. The warehouse and everything in it. Yes, there was a catch. Yes, Sungjin’s name was on it as well. But she could claim full ownership in one easy step. So easy her father should have just done away with the fanfare for whatever reason he found it necessary.

“What for? It means nothing to you,” he said darkly.

But it meant everything to him.

Rian allowed herself a sliver of achievement having surprised him. “Perhaps not, but it does have my name on it. I don’t feel particularly inclined to be signing away a gift from my _father_.”

It was one thing she had to compete for her own father’s affection and approval and cultivating anger when her efforts were all for naught—another thing entirely to loathe herself for wanting it in the first place. It left her restless and simmering with resentment.

And perhaps it was resentment that fuelled her need to take from Sungjin as he took from her.

“Rian.”

Indignantly, she strained against the urge to shiver in delight when he stepped closer. So close she could smell him. Like the summer sun, though it was barely spring. Like wintergreen, though winter had gone and passed.

“It says so, rather plainly as well. It’s mine if I want it. And I see no reason not to.” She could finally open up shop in a bigger space. A nicer location. Fit the interior with fancy wallpaper and decorate full-on rococo style just because.

Or she could simply lord it against Sungjin. That in itself would be priceless.

The proviso was simple. One hundred days and the property was hers to do as she pleased. Damn his legacy. Damn Sungjin and whatever plans he might have had for it. How hard could it be to spend—live—one hundred days in her father’s gym and studio? She’d done it before.

“You’re sure you’d rather not just sign the documents and be on with your life?”

No doubt the executor of the will would be coming around soon enough asking for her decision. Sungjin didn’t have a choice, but she did. She could choose to do as her father’s will states or sign away everything to Sungjin. The power was in her hands now. For the first time, she had something Sungjin wanted but couldn’t have.

Rian was done being the one left behind. The one being taken from. She’s had enough.

Anger filled her, pure and untainted.

Her halcyon childhood had been taken away by so much violence that masqueraded as sport, it felt only right that she took away from it as revenge. Maybe in the long run this would mean nothing in the grand scheme of things, but it mattered to her now. It mattered that, at least in her bubble, she felt like she was doing something about the hurt.

No doubt about it, Sungjin was already planning on building her father a hall of fame or some other way to honour his memory and his legacy. And Rian could not, in good conscience, allow reverence toward a man who left his wife and daughter with nothing but heartbreak. Clearly, this was for the betterment of mankind as a whole. Sungjin would survive. He would find a way to move on, and they would be out of each other’s lives once and for all.

“I’m sure,” she answered with a calm she did not feel. “How hard can it be, really?”

“You won’t last in there.”

“I really think I will.”

A little smile played on his lips as he looked to the pot of chocolate, now forgotten on the stovetop, to the jars of flour and powered cocoa, to the coloured tiles on her kitchen counter, the mismatched porcelain sets, the antiques collected throughout years of dedicated flea-marketing, and then finally back to her.

“I look forward to it then.”

“Then I’ll move in as soon as possible. Don’t worry, I know where the studio is. I’ll be sure to make myself comfortable.”

“I’m sure you will.”

“Would that be all? I’m a very busy woman.” She glanced back at her pot of chocolate bubbling like a potion in a witch’s cauldron.

Sungjin leaned in and Rian held her breath, not quite sure what to expect. Her eyes fluttered closed, and she fought the urge to do just that. Instinctively, she leaned into him as well, cursing herself in her mind as she swayed toward him.

Sungjin plucked the document out of her hand with a teasing smirk. “I’ll take this.”

Her heart pounded in her ears. “Thank you for bringing the matter to my attention.”

“Of course.”

She refused to meet his eyes and busied herself with remedying her burnt cocoa. The drink was for herself, something to soothe her frayed nerves. “I suppose I shall see you in a hundred days?”

Finally he stepped away and turned toward the kitchen exit. “You’ll see me sooner than that.”

“Shouldn’t you be training for your next bout?”

“Keeping tabs on me?”

She bit her tongue. “Don’t flatter yourself. I happen to have time to read, and sometimes I come across the most unimportant things.”

“Don’t worry.” She could hear the smirk in his voice. “You’ll get to keep your eyes on me as much as you like.”

She lifted her head to send him her most offended glare. “Excuse me?”

He grinned at her one last time. Insufferable man. “Fair warning. I’m a terrible roommate.”

The ladle scattered across the counter, splattering chocolate.

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

“Boss?”

Sungjin didn’t even look up at the sound of the voice. Instead, he lowered his head and threw a barrage of jabs in the air. His brain worked better when he was hitting things, even imaginary things as was the case with shadow boxing. He needed to think.

Coming to Rian had been a risk. He’d known that the moment he read the documents the lawyer had sent him. There was little to no certainty that she would be willing to sign away the property no matter how little she cared for it. And given that her relationship with her father had always been less than ideal, the more likely it was that she was going to get rid of it as soon as possible to maximise her gains. Sungjin might as well accept defeat now.

But for Sungjin, one defeat was already one far too many on his record.

He would not lose the gym.

Not to Son Rian.

He gave his imaginary enemy a booming right cross. “I have it under control.”

He would gain ownership and proprietorship of the gym and everything inside it and everything it stood for. Sungjin did his growing up in this studio. It wasn’t much more than a warehouse fitted with the necessary training equipment and, up on the loft, lodgings, but this was the home he knew growing up. Him and the ragtag bunch he called a crew.

This was their home, and it would always be. Here, in the grit of sweat and blood, they could regain what they had lost and what had been taken from them. There was space and time to train and fight, to win and make something of themselves.

They could build a better life.

Sungjin would stop at nothing to give them that chance. He owed his boys that much. He owed them far more.

Then he would win his comeback match. Somehow, he would make his mentor proud.

Son Rian would not steal this chance from them.

“And I have no doubt that you do,” Jae answered. “I believe in you, boss. What’s the plan?”

Sungjin threw a right hook through the air, then followed it with a left. “Change her mind. Or if she’s selling, we buy the gym.”

“No offense, boss. But that’s your plan? That’s not a plan. That’s nowhere near a strategy. What did coach say about going into a fight? We gotta be prepared.”

Sungjin dropped his fists to his side and turned to Jae, breathing hard. If only Rian were an opponent in the ring with him then he would be able to see her vulnerabilities, open and raw. There he knew where to strike. But Rian was not an opponent in the ring, and in this battle with this stubborn woman things were not so easy. “You have a better plan?”

Jae shrugged weakly, his lanky shoulder coming up and down in a lazy casualness only he could pull off. He squinted at him, then blinked. “I like the change her mind part, it’s inspired. But how exactly do you intend to execute said plan?”

“She has to live here for a hundred consecutive days. It would be too bad if she were to move out before the days are up.”

“I don’t think strong-arming the lady into leaving is such a good idea.” Jae ducked under the ropes and retrieved a sports bottle from the side. He tossed it to Sungjin who caught it despite his wrapped hands. “Mayhaps, attempt to plead our case? The lady might not be so heartless. So we have good feelings, yeah? She is the coach’s daughter.”

Sungjin flipped the cap on the bottle and squeezed water down his throat. Rian may have been the coach’s daughter, but she had no reason to be sympathetic to their case. While he had nothing in common with a dainty chocolatier, he understood that it hurt to be unwanted by a father. He’d spent his youth angry at being ignored, but Sungjin did the leaving. He had not been the one left behind. Rian was too angry to listen to him. Talking might not be an option.

Jae continued. “Perhaps we might endeavour to change her mind without, you know,the looming hazard of the Miss calling the authorities on us for harassment or threatening bodily harm or murder. It’s a very litigious society we live in these days.”

Sungjin drew his eyes to the ceiling and exhaled a curse under his breath. “You leave Son Rian to me. Let’s just focus on training for this next match. No more distractions.”

“Right. No more distractions.”

Sungjin shot a sidelong glance at Jae. “She’s not going to be a distraction.”

True, she would be in the way of their training and preparations but if they went about this right, Rian would be nothing more but a fly on the wall. Girls like her, all innocent and wholesome, did not last long in their world. She would leave on her own accord, ideally unscarred and in a hurry with no intentions of looking back. And if, by some inexplicable turn of events, she did survive the hundred days with him, then Sungjin just had all the more reason to win against Hwang Chansung. If it was money she wanted, then it was money he would throw at her feet when he bids for the property.

Jae shrugged. “But just in case, Younghyun’s found somewhere we could—”

Sungjin silenced him with a look. “We’re not going anywhere. Tell Younghyun we will have this place to ourselves. We are not leaving.”

This was their _home_.

When he had come back from meeting with Rian yesterday, the rest of the crew had been anxiously waiting for news. And by the look on their faces, they had been expecting bad news. There was only so much bad news one could take, and Sungjin would not be the bringer of yet another source of heartbreak. Not again. So he told them all would be fine. He had it all taken care of.

Which he did. Kind of.

“Got it,” Jae answered. “So when are we expecting the Miss to arrive?”

Sungjin tossed him back the water bottle. “Soon, I expect.”

Younghyun, Wonpil, and Dowoon had went out of their way to clean up the extra room despite Sungjin’s protests. They should let the girl clean up her own space if she was so determined to stay. Not only that, but the boys had gone out shopping for groceries and whatever else they thought would be necessary for a warm welcome. All of which defeated the purpose of driving Rian out before she even set foot in the building.

Jae sighed. “You know I’m in your corner, right boss?”

Sungjin knew that look on Jae’s face. It was his thinking face, and that never went well outside a fight. “What now.”

“As your trainer and hypeman and all-around strategy guy, I suggest we look at this in the context of any fight we get ourselves into. Think about it, boss. It’s what we do all the time. Two evenly matched people facing each other in the cage. In your case, figuratively. We gotta get into her head before she gets into your head.”

“She’s not going to get into my head,” Sungjin said, ignoring the scent memory of warm chocolate and rose water on her skin. He could almost taste her as though she were right in front of him and all he needed to do was dip his head and press his mouth against the pulse on her neck.

“We gotta work on your people skills, too,” Jae continued, blissfully unaware of the thoughts running amok in Sungjin’s head. “I know you haven’t seen anyone else outside the cage so this might come as a shock to you, but you’re not exactly a gentleman. Your negotiating skills are going to need some work.”

“My negotiating skills are fine.” Not to mention unnecessary.

Jae raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. “Agree to disagree. I am merely suggesting that maybe instead of intimidation, which you’re the best at, maybe a little persuasion will better our chances at winning this thing.”

“You want me to _persuade_ her?”

“I’m suggesting Younghyun can do it. After all, Younghyun can do everything.”

It was a good strategy, if maybe questionable in terms of being honourable and forthright. Not exactly the behavior they should be showing their coach’s daughter. Butgiven that Younghyun was _good_ at everything, Sungjin had no doubt Younghyun could convince Rian to sign away the studio if he really set his mind to it. All Younghyun would have to do was smile at Rian, charm her with his wit and his humour, take her out to the rooftop and sing to her about how her eyes are pretty like the stars. Younghyun could do more.

Sungjin didn’t like the idea.

He didn’t like that he didn’t like the idea.

“You’re going to get Younghyun to make her fall in love with him?” The words were nearly spat out with barely concealed ire.

“When you say it that way…” Jae rubbed his chin. “It does leave out any assurance that falling in love with Younghyun will make her hate you any less. Not that falling in love is the primary goal, mind you. I simply meant that he could talk her into seeing you—and by association, us—in a better light.”

“Me?”

“It is your name on the papers,” Jae pointed out. Then he blinked. “It’s gotta be you. You’re the one who has to convince her to: one, let us stay until the match and, two, let us stay forever.”

Unfortunately for Sungjin, he was also the object of her loathing.

“I don’t want to leave here as much as you don’t want to give it up, but maybe we also gotta prepare for the worst case scenario,” Jae said quietly. “I never met her before, but she’s still the coach’s daughter.”

Exactly what made this more complicated than it should be.

“I told you, leave that to me,” Sungjin assured him. He needed Jae in his top form in time for the next bout. “I don’t want you distracted by this.”

“Likewise, boss. I mean, the last thing we need is you falling in love with this girl.”

Sungjin palmed his face, wishing he could punch himself unconscious. “No, Jae. That would be counterproductive to what we want to achieve here. No distractions, remember? Also coach’s daughter. And even if she weren’t. She’s the kind of girl who runs a princess-y chocolate shop. What would I do with a sophisticated girl like that?”

Everything.

He’d do everything to a woman like that. Thrice.

“She’s not for me,” he said. “She’s not going to be a distraction. I’m not going to touch her.”

“Got it, boss. Nothing more to see there. Good to know it won’t be awkward or anything.” Jae’s eyes took on that bright, excited glint that Sungjin had learned to recognize over the years. And dread. “Speaking of distractions…”

Rian walked into the studio pulling her luggage behind her. Her eyes surveyed the room, probably estimating her selling rates. The gym wasn’t much in terms of size and it was simple for an all-around facility, but it served them well as a base of operations. They had everything they needed here.

Sungjin stepped away from his side of the ring and pushed his hood off his head. “I’m surprised you didn’t call first.”

Rian paused in her steps. Met his gaze despite the color suffusing on her cheeks. “I would have, but I didn’t know where to call. And yes, I looked it up.”

“Find anything else interesting?” He couldn’t help but tease her. Rian turned the most curious shades of pink when he hit the right buttons.

 _Imagine teasing her in bed_.

He shook the thought away.

“Miss Rian, so nice to make your acquaintance,” Jae said, interrupting his thoughts. “I’m Jae, also I think I’m needed elsewhere. I’ll be back for dinner.”

Jae bumped his fist against Sungjin’s arm just as he was leaving. In a low whisper, he said, “Fighting spirit, boss. You got this. Obviously, there’s no pent up, unresolved sexual tension going on here. This is noted and filed.”

 

 

  
As she stepped into the building, it occurred to Rian that this might as well be the biggest mistake she would ever make in her life.

While she could rest assured that Sungjin was in no way going to hurt her, his fists weren’t exactly on her side. Rian wondered if her father knew this was going to happen, if he did this on purpose just to spite her. The last time she saw this place, she was fifteen and saying goodbye to her father. The warehouse looked exactly the same, but she was different.

She passed through the heavy door, down a dim corridor, and into a wide square filled with punching bags hanging down the ceiling, weight lifting equipment lining the walls, and filling up the centre was a raised boxing ring.

Her heart went into a stutter when she saw him there. He stood at the centre of the ring in his boots and his shorts and a training hoodie. Nothing should be particularly noteworthy, she’d seen men in athletic wear before, but she was certain the others did not look quite so…male. Then he lifted his hand and pulled his hood off his head, revealing a post-exercise flush on his face and ears.

It’s a good thing he didn’t look happy to see her, otherwise Rian might have swooned.

“I suppose there’s not chance of you leaving,” she said after Jae had left the ring and disappeared into the backrooms.

“Leave?” Sungjin chuckled under his breath. “Not a chance, darling. We live here.”

“We?”

“Me.” He tossed his head behind him. “The rest of the crew."

She raised a brow. “It’s not just you who lives here?”

Sungjin smirked. “No. But you don’t have to stay here if you don’t feel comfortable.”

When Sungjin had announced their living conditions, she took the necessary precautions to ensure her sanity. She’d informed her friends and made sure she would not run out of excuses to get out of her internment. Her schedule was busy enough, and if all went according to plan, all she would need to do was sleep here at night. Having Sungjin in the other room would be a slight inconvenience. However, she was not made aware that there would be a ‘we’. Obviously, Sungjin had been waiting for the best moment to use this information against her. Rian may not have followed her father’s footsteps but that didn’t mean she didn’t know how to fight. Or fight back.

“No, I think I’ll find the living conditions satisfactory.”

He leaned forward on his elbows, leveraging himself against the ropes. “Thought you’d bring more stuff.”

She ignored the jab. “Oh, don’t worry. You’ll be helping me move the rest of my belongings in the following days. I’d like to start unpacking, so if you could kindly show me to my room?”

Sungjin laughed under his breath as he dismounted the ring in one smooth motion. God, he didn’t even try to look good doing that for her benefit. It was just how he was. Insufferable.

His approach was deliberate. “You’ll be staying in my room.”

She raised a brow. “Excuse me?”

The corner of his lips quirked up in amusement. “Relax. The only time I’ll be in there at the same time as you is if you ask.”

Rian followed him across the room and into the kitchen. She expected a mess of unwashed dishes and crumbs all over the floor, but like the gym the kitchen and adjoining dining room was spartan. Sungjin helped her with her luggage and led her up the metal stairs and into the loft where the space was divided into bedrooms.

“We redid the upstairs. I don’t think you got to see this like this before.”

She shook her head. In her memories, the whole second floor was nothing but dust and storage. Her heart pinched. Her father had had plans. Plans that had not involved her and her mother.

“Bathroom is over there,” Sungjin said, pointing toward the far end of the hall. “It’s just the one up here. If you like, you can use the one downstairs but I wouldn’t recommend it. Wouldn’t want to offend your delicate sensibilities.”

Rian stuck her tongue at him while he had his back turned to her.

“This is where you’ll be staying.”

Sungjin opened the door to his room and leaned against the doorjamb, crossing his arms and his ankles. Rian walked past him, ignoring his heat and the cool, minty scent of him. She imagined his room to be cluttered and smelling of old laundry and unwashed things…like clothes or linen or bodies. Sungjin’s room was neat. There was a single bed, a desk, a drawer for clothes, and a rack for shoes. And it didn’t smell of anything unpleasant. His room smelled like detergent, and tea, and the same cool minty scent she smelled from him just now.

If he meant to unnerve her with the way he watched her every movement, Rian was more than pleased to prove him wrong. She’d been under the scrutiny of meticulous eyes before, a man like Sungjin staring at her was nothing. At least that’s what she told herself. The thumping in her chest was merely a result of exertion. And perhaps irritation.

“Well, this is…” She pretended to search for a word to convey what she thought if the room. “I suppose this will do.”

Sungjin shrugged. “You don’t really get to have a choice.”

“For now.”

“Why are you doing this, Rian?”

At the sound of her name on his lips, the back of her neck prickled, sending a zing down her spine. She squared her shoulders and refused to let him see what he did to her. “Because I can.”

His gaze focused, dark and intent, on her. “And so you are.”

A part of her wanted to tell him everything, the same part of her who feared not that he wouldn’t understand, but that he would. That if she were to open up her vulnerabilities, Sungjin would not turn away. Not because he was Sungjin but because in a way he knew how she felt.

“I’m not a little girl anymore,” she said instead. “I’m not scared of you.”

“You were never scared of me.”

Indeed, she never was or had she ever been. She never had reason to. Despite her friends’ warnings and concerns over her safety, being here with Park Sungjin was the safest Rian would ever be. She remembered that much about him, begrudgingly cherished what little time they had spent getting along in the past.

“Everyone else was, though,” she mused. “Or at least they should have been.” Not a lot of their schoolmates knew Sungjin was training the way he did. All they had known, all Rian heard them say about him, was that he got into a lot of fights.

“I’m sorry everyone else thought you were dating me. I know you were annoyed about that.”

She stifled a smile. “Only because I couldn’t get any dates. You were very bad for me.”

Sungjin was still bad for her.

Never mind the stupid thrill that just ran through her spine.

“I’m sure you don’t have that problem now,” he said. “I’m surprised your boyfriend didn’t move in here with you.”

“I’m sure he would if I had one,” she answered, “Not that I would appreciate that. Unless I asked, of course. But…”

But it was only Sungjin. True, he was a champion fighter but other than that nothing more was said about his character. They grew up together. It was her father, really, that ruined Sungjin. Ruined them.

“But?” he prodded, strangely pleased at this revelation.

Would he lord that over her as well? That once again, her dating pool would suffer yet another drought because of him. Not that she’d ever experienced an oasis, but he didn’t need to know about that.

“But it’s just you,” she said dismissively. “Nothing to worry about there.”

Sungjin hummed in response.

She was suddenly, unaccountably nervous. And when she was nervous, she babbled. “You want to know what I plan to do with this place. After the hundred days are over.”

Sungjin nodded, eyes on her. “I’m curious.”

Rian shook her head. She didn’t have a choice but answer that now. “I don’t know yet.”

Not technically lie. As soon as Sungjin had left, she’d received an interesting, and tempting, offer. At most, she responded with a need for time. That she had time to think about her choices. The truth was Rian had no idea what her future plans were. At least not right now. All she knew was that this building stood for the part of her life she wished she could forget.

“I see. That’s good, then.”

“What is?” she asked, curiosity piqued. Involuntarily, she took a step forward into his space.

Sungjin remained at the threshold, however. “I have a hundred days to make up your mind for you.”

Her heart skipped. “You can most certainly try.”

“Not try,” he said, voice low as a whisper. “Do. I _will_ make up your mind.”

His rough voice resonated in her bones. The room shrunk and she couldn’t breathe. How? she wanted to ask. How would a man like Sungjin change her mind?

“Surely you don’t mean to…” she caught herself, and heat rushed to her face. Her heart hammered in her chest.

“Mean to what?”

Rian cleared her throat. She wasn’t prepared for _this_. She shook her head.

“Mean to what, Rian?”

She didn’t—couldn’t—bring herself to say the words out loud.

“Seduce you?” His voice had dropped to a low impatient growl. The words sounded like a promise.

But Rian knew too well Sungjin’s track record was with those. She wouldn’t dare hope…and yet…

Sungjin’s gaze seemed to hover over her lips, making her weak in the knees. “ _Are_ you seduceable, Rian?”

Teasing, insufferable, man.

Her lips fell agape as the breath left her lungs.

“If I were to—”

Footsteps clattered along the metal staircase and down the corridor, followed by loud voices.

Sungjin stepped back at once, turning away from her.

Rian bit the inside of her cheek.

 _If I were to_ …

If he were to what? Kiss her? Touch her? Sing and dance to trot music?

Now she would lay at night, unable to sleep, wondering.

“Boss, everyone’s here.”

Rian remembered Jae from earlier. He appeared first, genial and carefree. Behind him were three more, each of them introduced to her in rapid succession. Every one of them turning to Sungjin first as though he was in charge.

Younghyun.

Wonpil.

Dowoon.

She committed their names and their faces to memory, a shadow of guilt niggling at the back of her head. These were real people. People who lived in this building too. People who trained with her father. The same people her father chose over her.

Just like that, she was reminded of her purpose.

“These are for you,” Wonpil said, thrusting a handful of flowers in her direction. The daisy, daffodil, and bluebell blossoms weren’t arranged in a bouquet, and there seemed to be no theme or concept in mind. They looked like Wonpil randomly picked them out of buckets and had them tied in a pretty ribbon. The gesture was sweet, though.

“Thank you?”

“We got dinner,” Younghyun said, stretching his arm down the direction of the kitchen. “Let’s go eat. Come on. Best way to get to know each other is through food.”

Rian held back a smile, but followed them down to the long table. She could suffer through this for the night. What else was there for her to do? In the future, she could come home late and leave early and avoid this completely. But for tonight, she allowed herself the company of these strangers who were soon to be her new housemates. At least for the next couple of weeks.

Dowoon stared at her curiously from his side of the table, but said nothing. Sungjin too was drawn into the conversation that had nothing to do about her Jae and Wonpil seemed to be hopping from one topic to another. But even in all the chaos, she recognized the way they all skirted around her and circumvented talking about her.

The days would pass, and the inevitable would come. All Rian needed to do was survive. All without succumbing to Park Sungjin’s threats.

How difficult could it be?

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

Sungjin was a morning person, as Rian came to find out the following day.

When she had come out of her room after an uneventful, albeit fitful, night’s sleep, Sungjin was already up and about downstairs training. She followed the rhythmic thudding of fists on punching bag, through the kitchen and out the gym where she found him focused on his drills. When she’d seen him yesterday and the other day, he’d been in a hoodie and he’d been plenty distracting then. Today, he was in a black dri-fit shirt that stretched over his shoulders and his chest, and gave a view of his biceps that really gave a _view._ With every powerful thrust of his fists, the fabric of his shirt moved with his tightly corded muscles. Then her eyes caught the way his grey trainers wrapped around his thighs. She should not notice. Should not be paying attention at all.

But she’d never seen such a display of…maleness this close before. Sungjin had been a boy when she’d come up here to do her homework while her mother was at work. There was nothing quite like this to look at. He had been awkward limbs and clumsy footwork. Nothing this compelling.

Discreetly, she hoped, Rian studied his form in the mirrors lining the walls. He was quick and precise. Strong. All his movements economical and calculated. He could knock her down with no effort at all. Just pick her up and throw her over his shoulder and then…

Unbidden, she flashed back to his words last night: _Are you seduceable, Rian?_

Was she?

Heavens above, had anyone ever tried?

She wanted nothing to do with such a man like him, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t think about what it would be like. To be seduced by him. To let him if he were to…

To what?

A frustrated sigh escaped her lips. Now she was back wondering just what exactly Sungjin would do to her. For her. If he were to have those rough hands explore her. Or perhaps that smart mouth of his doing more than talk. Just _everything_. She may never know, but she could imagine. Later. When he wasn’t standing across the room.

He cleared his throat and her attention was back from the gutter it had wandered off to.

“Off to work?” With his wrapped hand, he swiped at the sweat dotting his forehead. It brought her eyes to the scar on his right brow, a ruggedness that felt misplaced in his otherwise gentle features.

Rian’s heart thundered in her ears and she felt the heat rise to her face. She cleared her throat in a sad attempt to appear casual and nonchalant, but he was already doing that thing he did when he was amused. That smile that was also a smirk. It was a small gesture, but there. As though he’d seen and heard her thoughts. But that was impossible.

“Yes, actually,” she answered, unreasonably breathless and warm. “I was just on my way out.”

Sungjin responded with his eyes darting toward the door.

“Well,” Rian said, smoothing down the fabric of her sundress and feeling silly at her poorly disguised attempt to calm the fluttering in her stomach. “I should go.”

But her feet would not move. Something shifted in the way he looked at her, something speculative and interested. The silence between them seemed to grow thicker with each passing moment. With anticipation?

His voice is forceful, gruff again when he spoke. “Have a good day, then.”

“I will.”

He saw the lift in her chin and he heard the wobble in her voice, she was sure of it. “Wouldn’t want to keep you here. Unless…”

Rian held her breath.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” Just like that, Sungjin established his claim over his territory. By asking the question, he’d taken control over whether or not he could let her go on or drive her out.

Rian was too far away from her own comfort zone, she couldn’t imagine it existing now. Of course he meant to tease her, perhaps embarrass her. And she’d let him. Even after she had sworn to herself she would never allow him that power over her again. Rian wasn’t fifteen anymore. No more silly fantasies.

She straightened her shoulders and held on to a bravery she did not feel. “Not anymore.”

“Anymore?” he asked with a tilt of his head.

“I’ve already learned my lesson,” she continued, “I won’t make that mistake again.”

He paused. “What mistake?”

Rian stomped the urge to pull her white cardigan tighter over her body to shield her from his probing eyes. “Exactly my point.”

With that, she turned on her wedge sandals and walked toward the double doors. Feeling like she’d won something, she confidently strode out, bracing her arms for the impact for when pushed the doors open…

…and crashed into the plexiglass.

She pushed again. And again. But to no avail.

Strong wrists and big hands reached out from behind her, undoing the latch and pushing the door open. Sungjin had crossed the matted floor without her noticing, now he stood not two feet away from her. A deliberate gap between them, as though obvious of the space he occupied but disinclined to use it.

She stared at him, feeling small. She didn’t remember feeling this small next to him before. As their eyes met, she felt a frisson of alarm at the intensity there. The open space of their surroundings and the possibility of being caught there made everything come into sharp focus. At the moment, they were alone but anyone could walk in on them, and Rian would act as though they’d been caught doing something they shouldn’t even though all they were doing was stand there. For a moment, there was nothing else in the room but the war of locked gazes and the sense that if ever either of them lost, it would be . . . delicious.

“What mistake?” he asked again. A demand rather than an inquiry.

“That you don’t remember at all is testament to my point,” she countered archly, “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

But it did. In some ways it did.

“I never did anything to you.” But the look in his eyes showed her that he was searching his memories from that day, so many summers ago.

“And you would be correct,” she answered. “But also incorrect. It doesn’t matter anymore, I told you. It’s all water under the bridge now.”

Rian pushed forward. If she moved any more quickly, she would topple out into the freezing concrete, but it was worth the attempt. Suddenly, she was very nervous if he were to remember what it was he did and did not do. Had he really forgotten all about her? He must have. That smarted, she wasn’t going to lie. Of course he wouldn’t have had time to think of her. He’d had far more interesting things to do with his time. Far more interesting people to spend time with.

She stumbled as she backed away from him, her foot caught on the step she missed, sending her falling backwards with a little squeak and she threw her arms wide to grasp the door and balance herself. He beat her to it, his large, strong hands coming around her waist, catching her, lifting her, and bracing her against his chest as she found her footing. With his other arm, he caged her against the door. The boy she remembered was gone.

The man in his place was not to be trifled with.

He was too close. So close, leaning in, his voice lowered to a whisper, the breath of his words ghosting the sensitive skin of her cheeks, heightening her awareness of him. She did not breathe, too focused on the heat of him, on what he would say next. “Careful,” he whispered, “wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.”

Disoriented, she blinked. “I’m well capable of taking care of myself.” She’d caught herself before the ‘thank you’. Politeness would only go so far with Sungjin, and she didn’t want to give him that much. Especially not after this.

“Stay safe, okay?” he said with a slow smile. “You haven’t signed off the property to me just yet.”

She turned her head, conscious of the fact she’d never been this close to a man in far too long. “Careful there, you wouldn’t want your pretences to turn into genuine concern. I heard it’s a common ailment.”

But his silent lingering presence proved he was immune to her goading. “Try not to stay out too late,” he said as he released her. “It would be a shame if you were to be locked out.”

With a huff, Rian disengaged from the physical and mental grapple and hurried down the street, ignoring the loss of his touch and the empty feeling it brought without it.

 

As soon as Rian arrived at The Lavender and Rose, she was immediately set upon by Jimin and Ayeon, co-owners of the salon and her best friends. They cornered her on both sides, linking their arms with her elbows as they steered her into the kitchen where they spent the hour before opening making ready for the day ahead.

“You’re alive,” Jimin gasped, leading the chain of them. Always a presence larger than life, filling any room with sunshine and force of will. “I was worried you’d be murdered by now.”

“I don’t think murder would look very good on their track record if they stood to be next in line for the gym,” Ayeon said, calmly. The counterbalance to Jimin’s energy. “Are they next in line for the gym?”

Rian wasn’t certain how the succession was laid out, and she said as much. “There are worse things than murder.”

Like falling into bed with the enemy.

Which she had absolutely no intention of doing.

Ever.

No matter how tempting.

“I can’t think of anything worse than murder,” Jimin answered, depositing Rian into her usual side of the kitchen counter. She crossed her arms over her chest, letting the too long sleeves of her yellow sweater hang loose beyond her fingers. “Okay, actually I _can_ think of a few things. What’s he like? Is he scary?”

“He is…” Rian began, choosing her words carefully. “He is not a concern.”

“He sounds like he should be a concern,” Ayeon shot back worriedly. She pushed her short ash-brown hair behind her ears. Where Jimin was full-speed ahead, Ayeon took her time to win the same race. “I hope this is really worth it.”

“We could use the money,” Rian offered as a weak excuse. The cafe was doing better than they could have projected, and they could choose to move to a bigger location if the need arose, but the charm of the place was exactly that it was a cozy space. Just the right size for what a wandering soul might need.

“But it’s not about the money, is it?” Jimin asked. “It’s about your dad.”

Her father had always been a sensitive subject, one the girls took utter respect for and barely approached. Though there was no denying it now. Rian sighed. “In a way, I suppose it is. Why would he do that? If he’d gone through the effort of writing a will, why pull me back into this mess?”

Ayeon reached forward and gently touched Rian’s wrist. “Perhaps this is his way of apologising to you?”

Rian shook the thought away, refused to let the anger and resentment nourish her. “We’ll never know now. I know the decision may seem rash, and perhaps mad, but I want to do this. For whatever it might mean. I will do whatever it takes, apparently, for closure.”

“Whatever it takes?” Ayeon frowned in bafflement. “Closure for what?”

“Just…closure.” Rian shrugged defeatedly. There was so much she didn’t understand, so much she wanted to understand. And, Sungjin, he was the only one who could shed light into the fog of her heartbreak.

Jimin bit her bottom lip. “Tell us the truth, you didn’t secretly date this Sungjin guy, did you? It’s not the thing where your dad, who was his coach, forbade you to see each other but you did anyway because he’s cute?”

“He is, rather,” Ayeon added. “And don’t you dare tell us you don’t think he is. We can see it in your eyes. You think he’s cute.”

“Don’t worry about that.” Rian’s nostrils flared. “And no. We were never—it was never like that. He’s not even my type!”

“Then what is your type?” Jimin asked, leaning forward. “Just so we know what to look out for.”

Rian huffed. “Non-violent, for one. I prefer someone…soft and kind and comforting but decadent. Like a French macaron.”

Jimin snorted. “Plenty of guys like that, I’m sure.”

Ayeon just shook her head. “Those are bad for you too, one might think.”

“Of course, not,” Rian said firmly. “Not the ones we make, anyway.”

“Full of air?” Jimin joked, raising her brows at the looks she received. “What? They’re light and airy and like clouds.”

“Luscious,” Rian sighed. “A culmination of bliss and pleasure. The kind that would make you moan at the first bite.”

“Oh, I see,” Jimin teased. “Are you sure Sungjin isn’t a macaron?”

Rian rolled her eyes. “The comparison is an insult to the macaron. He’s hardly a treat. He’s…far too unrefined. He’s simply another inconvenience. If you think about it, there must have been a reason my father didn’t hand it over to him directly. He could have, but he didn’t. Sungjin will not getting anything from my father.” Not more than what he’s already taken.

Her friends nodded though it was clear they did not fully understand. At the very least, Rian knew she had their support. And she would need them to survive the remaining ninety-nine days.

“We made this,” Jimin said, reaching behind her to pick up a large board. “Seemed like a good idea. Also, you always did say it’s best to have something nice to look forward to after a challenging time. I think this counts as a challenge, and we’ll definitely need something to look forward to at the end of it.”

Rian took the board in her hands with a laugh. It was a countdown of her stay at the gym, each square representing a day to be crossed out in angry red marker. The borders were drawn in with pastel coloured flowers, and the days were written in sweeping calligraphy. “I suppose this goes here.”

She set the board over their office desk, leaning it against the wall. With her favorite red marker, she drew an X over Day One. All of a sudden, she was overwhelmed by the remaining days ahead.

“We should go out on a real vacation after all this is over,” Ayeon suggested, dropping her chin on the palm of her hand. “Perhaps the beach? It’s properly summer by that time.”

Rian nodded her assent. “We should schedule a day off from the shop anyway. A time just for us, I’m sure the clientele won’t mind so much.”

It has been a while since they’d taken time off. All three of them had started working right after university, but it didn’t take long for them to quit their corporate jobs to open shop. Now Ayeon was in grad school doing her MBA, and Jimin was taking on new ways to market their craft. Rian’s domain was the kitchen. Chocolate was her art form.

True, anyone could do chocolate if they put their minds into it, but when Rian created she knew everything she was doing as though her skill came from an unseen force beyond her understanding. That was her magic.

“That’s that, then,” Rian sighed, marking the last day with gold highlights and writing down their plans for the summer. “So what’s the plan for today?”

Ayeon and Jimin shared a look that Rian would have caught miles away. “What is it?” Rian asked. Though in her mind she knew the better question would have been, _Who_ is it?

“Have you thought about our next window display yet?” Ayeon asked.

Rian shook her head. The displays were always their shared ideas put together, and the collaborative effort was what made it so special. “Not decisively.”

“Because we need to resupply our edible flowers,” Jimin said slowly, “and you know someone has to go make the call so Woosung can personally deliver the orders.”

Ayeon stifled a giggle. “You might want to make the call? Or perhaps a visit to the greenhouse?”

Kim Woosung supplied all their horticultural needs, from edible flowers to the crystallised and preserved blossoms they put at centrepieces on their tables. They’ve been working together ever since they opened the shop, and Rian would go as far as level their relationship as more than professional and right about at friends.

“And how do you suppose I should explain my current living conditions?”

Jimin waved her hand casually in the air. “The whole point is to spend as little time there as possible. And what better way than to busy yourself with a potential macaron?”

Ayeon did not bother hiding her laughter then. “Just think of it as Plan B.”

Plan B for what, Rian wanted to ask but she kept her thoughts to herself. Shaking her head, she pulled her apron over her head and tied the pale yellow strings around her waist. There was work to be done, and the pastries did not bake themselves. Soon, her thoughts settled into the motions of her recipes inherited from her grandmother and perfected through the years. This was the way it should be, the succession of a legacy worth protecting.

Rian vowed to do everything in her power to make sure Sungjin regretted all that he had done to her.

As well as everything he had not.

 _Just watch_ , she thought, _you’re not the only one who can throw a punch._

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

Six nights was what it took before Sungjin was absolutely certain that Rian’s eyes sought him out just as much as he did her. More than once, their gazes have tangled from across the room, and always she was the first to look away.

He didn’t even dare deny the thrill it brought him every time he’d caught her staring at him. Having her eyes on him felt like a surge of adrenaline just before a fight, those few moments he was getting himself into the zone, clearing his mind of everything else until all that was left was him and his opponent at the other side of the ring. 

She was doing it now, feigning interest as she walked into the kitchen with a bag of groceries in her arms. Her heeled boots clicked-clacked on the floor, drawing his attention to the sensuous line of her calves and her thighs in skintight jeans. He tried not to think about those legs wrapped around his waist as he took her against the wall. Tried not to think of the flush on her skin and the sweat on her brow. He most definitely was not thinking if she was the type to sigh softly against his shoulder or make delicious sounds in his ear. He shouldn’t be thinking about her at all. Forcing his eyes away, he lifted his gaze up to the smooth, tan skin teasing him from the undone buttons of her white button-down top. The skin he tried not to notice every time he saw her. But he always noticed.

Sungjin swore under his breath.

He shouldn’t be thinking about his coach’s daughter.

Especially not about his hands on his coach’s daughter.

_ Hands. Off. _

If only the needs that stirred awake inside him diminished with every reminder that Rian was off-limits. Instead, they seemed to grow stronger by the second.

Across him on the table, Jae cleared his throat. “Boss?”

Right.

_ Focus, Sungjin.  _

Between them were piles of bills and more paperwork that needed filing and settling. Usually, Younghyun helped him deal with this side of the business, but Younghyun was knocked out cold after class and his work shift at the library. Furthermore, Younghyun had an early start tomorrow, and none of them had the capacity to wake him up. Knowing Younghyun, he’d probably wake up when he got hungry again. Sungjin made a mental note to leave out some food just in case.

Sungjin cut a glance at Rian who was pretending and failing not to pay attention to them. She put her groceries away with a deliberate carefulness that was more about stalling than making sure her greens and her fruits were neatly stacked in her corner of the refrigerator. It was obvious she was curious, it wasn’t every night Sungjin and Jae looked like Hell decided to fuck them over for dessert.

“Don’t worry about it too much,” he said to Jae. In a low voice he added, “We’ll make things work.”

So far they had survived, if barely. The boys had to take on second jobs and, despite his protestations, there was nothing Sungjin could do about it. Their priority was his conditioning; a lot was riding on Sungjin being in top form and winning this next match. Where prestige was, the money would follow. They could use the money—for keeping the gym running, new equipment, Jae’s expenses, Younghyun and Wonpil’s school fees, and Dowoon’s training. He promised Coach he would take care of these boys, and so far all Sungjin has done was keep them alive and only just so.

Sungjin wasn’t doing enough.

He had to do more.

Jae cast a nervous glance at Rian as well, catching on to Sungjin’s unease. They didn’t need Rian to know about their financial troubles, not when it was a point against them from making a bid for the property when the hundred days were over. Neither did Sungjin welcome her pity or judgment. Calmly, or as calmly as he could, Jae collected the papers into a neat pile and tucked them safely into a folder.

“Well, I gotta get going,” Jae said, pushing his chair back, scraping the floor with a loud squeak. “Don’t wanna be late for work.”

Sungjin nodded in response. The guilt he felt would soon be lifted the moment his victory would be announced. Then he could give the boys the life they deserved. “See you in the morning.”

“You have work?” Rian asked, shutting the fridge door and turning toward Jae.

“Yeah,” Jae answered casually. “I do some freelance stuff on the side. This one’s on site though, so I gotta show up. We missed you at dinner tonight. And the other night. And the other night. And the night before that. And the one before the other night, too.”

Rian waved her hand in the air in a nonchalant gesture. “I was busy at the shop.”

Jae laughed, shoulders lightly shaking as he did. “Yeah, I’m sure it’s not because you’re avoiding us. I mean, what reason could you possibly have?”

Her eyes darted toward Sungjin, but it was gone in a split-second and Sungjin wasn’t sure he wasn’t just imagining it. “What reason, indeed.”

“I mean,” Jae continued, walking up to the counter to grab a slice of left-over pizza. “It’s not like you’re worried you’re gonna fall in love with us, right? Like really attached and stuff.”

She hid a smile behind her fingers. “Because that’s the only way this ends?”

“Oh, yeah. Obviously.” Jae gave her a mock salute. “Gotta go. See you in the morning, Boss.”

Sungjin watched Jae head into the adjoining office first to return the paperwork to his desk. A few moments later, Jae was rushing out with his backpack, pizza still half-eaten and dangling from his teeth.

“The executor of the will stopped by today, by the way,” Sungjin said after hearing the main door close. He stayed in his chair, leaning back to appear relaxed when he was anything but.

The lawyer stopped by a little after lunch, just as Sungjin was cooling down from his morning drills to check in on Rian’s stay. As tempting as it was to lie, Sungjin couldn’t bring himself to do it, so he’d given the exact date Rian moved in. The lawyer didn’t say anything else other than look around the gym and ask a couple of seemingly harmless questions. After a few minutes, he bid his leave.

Rian didn’t look too pleased with this news. “Did he want anything?”

“Just asked a couple of questions. He was looking for you. I told him you were at work. Offered to call you so you could consent to showing him your room. He said he’ll come back again some time next week to talk to you.”

“Did he say what for?”

He shrugged. “Probably just the usual things. Like making sure you live here.”

The expression on Rian’s face a full-on distrust. “I do live here.”

“That’s what I said.”

She gnawed on her bottom lip, a habit he remembered from their youth. Rian had always been an unwanted presence, a distraction that often got him in trouble. Sungjin never knew if Coach ever realised he’d had a crush on his daughter. But if he did, that would explain all the extra drills and the extra hours Sungjin had been made to put in after their regular training sessions were through. Despite the circumstance, it had been something of a relief when she stopped coming to the gym altogether.

Not that he’d stopped thinking about her.

Rian was the first girl he was forbidden to date.

Coach hadn’t explicitly said so, neither was it hinted at, but Sungjin took it upon himself to prove that he wouldn’t be distracted by a pretty face and a relationship. He respected his coach far too much, owed him far too much. He’d done his best to stay away from her. He still could. And he would.

He’d drawn the line at teasing her.

Rian was not for him.

It would be best that he remembered that.

“It’s quiet,” she said, looking around their surroundings. The kitchen, much like the rest of the gym was neat and tidy. Without Jae to fill in the empty spaces, it felt looming and bigger than it actually was. “Where are the others?”

“Wonpil and Dowoon are at work.” He didn’t miss the rise of her brows or the slight gape of her lips.

“It’s late.”

He shrugged. “So?”

“So nothing, I guess. And Younghyun?”

He didn’t like that he was unreasonably annoyed that she’d asked him about Younghyun. “He’s sleeping in his room. Did you need him for anything?”

She shook her head. “No. I was just asking. I know I’ve only been here a week, but it’s the first time it’s this quiet.”

“You haven’t been here long enough.” He meant to sound teasing, but he heard the snap in his voice at the last minute. Broaching the topic of his friends and crew working on top of their responsibilities here so he could train full-time made him uncomfortable and left him defensive. He’d done his best to maintain the gym, keep it operational and clean, but it never felt enough.

Rian pressed her lips in a tight line and turned up her nose. “Well, you’re not staying here for long either, so I suggest accepting that fact now.” Then she turned on her heel and made her way up the stairs.

Sungjin dropped his face in his hands and took a deep breath. It had been a long day and all he wanted now was to go to bed. The prospect of having to share a room didn’t promise a good night’s sleep—a thought wiggled into his mind, something about sharing a bed with Rian wouldn’t be so bad even if he didn’t get enough sleep, and he expelled the thought away.

The only time he could allow himself to think of her was in relation to the gym and related strategies for acquisition. It was for the best that no one got too attached to her. Rian leaving her mark on this place would only make it difficult for all of them in the end. Somehow, he had to convince Rian to let them stay and taking her to bed—anywhere—was not one of those solutions.

He pushed himself off his seat and instead of upstairs to the room he shared with Wonpil, he made his way back to the gym to get rid of all this excess energy that had built up in the last fifteen minutes.

It was a little past midnight when he stepped out of the shower after his workout. He ran a towel over his head then dried himself off quickly and pulled on his shorts. Flinging his towel over his shoulder, he opened the door…

…to a started yelp.

Rian clutched her chest in surprise. The gasp on her lips froze as her gaze lingered on his chest and collarbones and lower before she tore her gaze back up to his face. Sungjin couldn’t get enough of the color rising on her face, wondering how far it spread and what other shades he could elicit. In her arms were her clothes, a bath towel, and her shower kit. 

He shouldn’t be thinking of her underthings. He shouldn’t wondering if she were the kind of girl with coordinated pairs in white or some other color or style. Much less her underthings on her otherwise naked body.

Or worse. Picturing them as a heap on the floor.

He forced his thoughts to safer spaces. Brought his eyes somewhere safe.

Like her eyes. He kept his gaze stubbornly on hers. But her eyes weren’t safe either. They were the color of rich dark chocolate of luscious forbidden temptation. Chocolate he hasn’t had in years, partly because it never interested him and partly because it was bad for him. Yet he found himself desperate to lean forward. As if to bend his head and have a taste.

Smirking, he tilted his head, daring her to speak first.

Impressively, her voice didn’t shake. “Are you done here?”

Slowly, he brushed past her, noting the way her teeth sank into her bottom lip and the way her chest quivered at his proximity. Her eyes were wide and dilated as she looked up at him. “You shouldn’t be looking at me like that.”

“Like how?” she whispered.

“Like you want me to kiss you.”

“Then stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like  _ you _ want to kiss me.”

Sungjin rarely felt this way outside a fight. Sharp. Intent. Powerful. Aware of everything at once. The intimacy of their surroundings came into sharp focus. Other than the light from inside the bathroom, the corridor was dark. They were standing so close together on the threshold of this small room. If she stepped back, she would hit the sink. And if he stepped forward, he could lift her right on top of the counter.

He should step back.

“Because I do. But only if you want me to,” he said, voice hoarse with barely restrained lust. Sungjin understood that much, and he wouldn’t let his baser instincts get the better of him. If only to prove that he could. He turned to leave. He really should go before he did something he could never take back.

She turned her back to him to deposit her things on the counter. “I doubt you will even if I wanted you to.”

“Do you want me to?” He heard the desperation in his own voice, the need to know it wasn’t just him plagued by these thoughts. That for her, the looks they gave each other would never be enough.

“Kiss me.”

He was already moving, capturing the words in his lips. His hand cradled the back of her head, tilting her face to his. He drew her close to his chest and deepened the kiss, exploring her mouth with bold sweeps of his tongue. She tasted sweet. He’d known she would. It was the sweetness that didn’t come from cake or chocolates, but from her.

Every shred of his conscience shouted at him to remember his career. Think of his Coach. For the love of sanity, get the hell off her.

But she was so lovely and fresh—and not only sweet, but the perfect amount of tart.

They kissed deeply. They kissed desperately.

They kissed as though it were right.

As though it made perfect sense. As if all the avoiding and accidentally running into each other as kids, and all this ignoring and not-ignoring they were doing as adults, had all been a long relay of bouts. That each entry into their figurative ring added one more Win and Loss to their long record of “Things We Do to Avoid Kissing.” And now that they’d reached the end of the fight, they had a great deal of lost time to make up for.

He took her lips again and again knowing he shouldn’t, and kissed her as though they had all the time in the world, as though he was not dying to touch her. To be a part of her. Inside her. Know her everything. Show her everything. He sucked her lower lip between his teeth, licking and stroking with his tongue until she moaned her pleasure at the back of her throat.

Sungjin kept his hands on her face, even though he wanted more. He wanted everything. But kissing her had to be enough.

Her hands slid from his neck, down to his chest where her fingertips splayed in exploration. He caught her hands before they traveled lower, before he lost all semblance of better sense and eased away from her.

“This is a mistake,” he said, feeling the loss of her touch like a physical blow.

“What?” She was breathing hard. They both were.

“I shouldn’t have…I’m sorry.”

“I asked you to,” she pressed on, confused. “I wanted you to. Didn’t you want it too?”

“I should have outgrown this by now.” He ran his hand over his head. “I thought I had.”

“Outgrown what?” Her lashes fluttered at him, and the color was still high on her cheeks. “Kissing?”

“You,” he answered, “Wanting you like this. Wanting something I could never have.”

He’d wanted her ever since he’d set his eyes on her. It had been a schoolboy crush, an attraction he had considered pursuing if only due to youthful bravado. Even after he’d found out she was his coach’s daughter he still wanted her. Probably more, knowing he could never have her. But it was clear to him now as it had been then. Sungjin would never be good enough. Rian deserved more. Her father would have wanted more for her.

She bit her lips to hold back a pretty laugh. “Something you could never have? What is this? A drama series? Are you a man in a movie?”

“You’re the coach’s daughter.” If he said it out loud, perhaps the meaning would sink into his conscience.

“So what?” She was angry. For good reason. She stood taller, hiked her chin higher.

So everything.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t do what I want. I’m not a child.”

“And do what? Something you’d regret?”

Her face pinched into irritation and confusion. Frustration. “Why would I reg—“

“This won’t happen again,” he cut her off. “Ever. Let’s forget it ever happened.”

Sungjin turned his back and stepped away from her. Forgetting it ever happened was easy enough to say and damn difficult to accomplish. Sungjin knew as early as now he would find it impossible. He’s daydreamed about kissing Rian for years. Now he knew exactly how she tasted like, how she felt sighing into him, and the soft sounds she made as her lips nipped and teased, matching him with every move.

He bounded down the stairs in heavy steps and nearly ran all the way to the downstairs locker room. He needed a  _ very _ cold shower. And he needed to run. And after that, another cold shower as he berated himself for kissing her. Outside. Maybe a dip in the river. Where it was freezing. Somehow he had to resist her.

He would resist her.

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

Rian didn’t know how to take this: Sungjin had wanted her. 

Still wanted her.

Yet the truth was a bitter pill she would eventually have to swallow. He had wanted her all this time not because he found her attractive or sweet. He wanted her because she was something he was not allowed to have. Temptation by virtue of her being forbidden fruit. Apparently, she could be the most hideous, flattest, burnt macaron, and it wouldn’t matter. He would still have kissed her in that dark hallway simply because he wasn’t supposed to.

Anger flared. It was too early in the morning for this, but the frustration lingered long after Sungjin had left her wanting last night. She hurried down to the kitchen, hoping she wouldn’t run into the man of the match, and was surprised to see Younghyun seated at the table with his laptop and his notes.

“Good morning,” he said, smiling brightly. He glanced at the time on his wristwatch and furrowed his brows. “Off to work?”

It was too early for work, but Rian could not stand another minute inside Sungjin’s room. There was too much of him surrounding her—from the neutral, undecorated walls, to the perfectly aligned stacked drawers, and to the deep blue fitted sheets. Even now the interior still smelled like him. The linen may have been fresh but the clean detergent smell  only served to remind her of him. Then there was the cool, minty scent that pervaded the walls and clung to the air. She couldn’t breathe without imagining her nose pressed against his skin. Of her hands exploring the hard planes of his body. She shook the thought away.

“I thought I’d get an early start.” Baking helped relieve her nerves. Something about the calculated and measured process lulled her into a trance, help her clear her mind. She could make something real quick before she met with Woosung for their trip to the greenhouse today. “You’re up early.”

Younghyun tapped his fingers on top of the spread of paperwork on the table. Despite the good natured smile on his face, he looked like he hadn’t gotten  enough sleep. Either that or stress. Lots of it first thing in the morning. “Early start.”

A bright ding from the kitchen counter punctuated his sentence, and they both turned to the two pieces of toast popping out of the machine. “Breakfast?” Rian asked, turning to Younghyun.

As he shrugged and stood to retrieve his toast, Rian engaged herself in silent debate. On one hand, toast was perfectly acceptable breakfast food, enough for the morning until one could get to Real Food later on in the day, but on the other hand…it was toast. Most days she felt like that slice of toast. Warm and enough to get by, but nothing to get to excited about. 

Against her better judgment, she dumped her bag on top of a chair and shooed Younghyun away from the counter. Unfazed, Younghyun stayed put and watched from behind her as she ducked her head into the refrigerator to collect her ingredients.

“Don’t get too excited,” she said to him from over her shoulder. “I’m literally going to dump everything I can find in here into a pot and hope it’s enough for that brain of yours.”

Younghyun grinned at her, his eyes crinkling at the sides. “My brain thanks you. ”

She made him an omelette and fried rice. How she managed that while he hovered behind her shoulder, Rian could only attribute to all her experience working in kitchens, being yelled at constantly and being scrutinised under the figurative microscope. Younghyun wasn’t judging her though, he was more like an excitable pet that couldn’t wait to be fed.

Younghyun ate well. He ate like she had served him prime rib and fresh sashimi right off the boat. “Aren’t you eating?” he asked, looking up at her from over his bowl of rice.

Rian hesitated by the chair across him. “I should go.” Before Sungjin woke up. Before her day started spiralling into an even worse day. Before she decided to do something about the hunger pangs.

Before she gave in to the compulsion to bake something.

“Are you sure?” He spread his arm over the pot of mixed rice and the big plate of omelettes. “You made all this. You should have breakfast, at least. It’s the most important meal of the day.”

She glanced up the stairs.

“He’s not here.”

Her eyes shot to Younghyun’s. Did he know? Did everyone know? Just what exactly did they know? The questions bounced in her head one after the other. “Excuse me?”

A cheeky grin curved over his mouth. “He went out for a morning run. He won’t be back until another hour at least.”

She dragged the chair back and sat herself down.

Younghyun stood from his seat. “Let me get you a bowl.”

Rian thanked him when he got back to her. “When was the last time you used your oven?”

Younghyun paused midway into his chair. “We have an oven?”

That answered her question and next two or three she had. “Well, that is that.”

Despite having absolutely no intention of making this place a home, she had to live here too. At least for the next ninety-three days. She could get the kitchen into working order, somehow preserve her sense of self while she navigated her place in the established routine and rhythm of the house. Leaving early and coming in late, it was just too much work. And Rian, she needed…what did she need?

Clarity. She needed clarity.

They ate in silence, with only the sound of Younghyun’s typing and the scratch of his pen on paper. When it no longer seemed that she was in a hurry to leave, she stood and gathered the dishes to wash.

“Just leave them on the sink,” Younghyun said, glancing up from his notes. “I’ll clean up. It’s only fair.”

“Thank you, kindly.”

When she’d arrived here, she hadn’t felt any threat to her being. There had been no resistance, no hostility, no blatant disregard for her person. On the contrary, the boys had done their part into welcoming her into their home despite knowing what she was there for. Rian was for all points and purposes behind enemy lines, and yet she couldn’t shake off the feeling of complacency. She knew better than to expect a peaceful parting of ways. The boys were unlikely to give up their home without a fight. She was the villain here, after all.

And just like that, she found herself wishing they’d had plans to get rid of her after all.

Sungjin appeared by the doorway, flushed from exertion, his face covered in a sheen of sweat, and his breaths heavy and labored. His eyes swept the room in a quick review, rolling his eyes and scoffing at whatever it was he thought he saw. Without acknowledging her, he strode to the kitchen counter for a glass of water.

“Good run?” Younghyun asked, the teasing unmistakable. He leaned back in his seat and stretched his arms over his head. “Thought you’d be out longer.”

“I had an early start,” Sungjin answered. His cold, rough voice grated at her nerves.

Rian felt a prickle behind her ears. She should go, but her feet refused to walk her out of the scene. At her current state, walking out was her safest course of action. It would do no one any good should her hand slip and whack Sungjin with a pan right on the nose. No matter how satisfying it might be. Besides, she rather liked his nose.

“Rian made breakfast. Have a seat.”

Sungjin answered with a grunt.

She turned to him, chin up and hoping he couldn’t see her knees buckling under his eyes. But the words were lost on her lips when he picked up a slice of toast and held it between his teeth. With a huff, she turned on her heel and slung her bag over her arm.

“Thank you again for volunteering to do the dishes, Younghyun.”

Younghyun grinned at her, unable to hide his amusement. “Thank you for breakfast, Rian. Have a good day at work?”

“You too at school,” she said, “I’ll see you tonight.”

Younghyun hummed. “Tonight is pizza night so come home early before dinner’s demolished. I can try and save you a piece, but no promises.”

She made a face. “That is…no offence to pizza but…” She caught herself before she said the words out loud. These boys, they were hopeless. They worked day and night to come home to pizza? Defeated, she sighed. She would hate herself for this, but then she would hate herself otherwise anyway. “I’ll make you dinner.”

Younghyun’s face lighting up like Christmas morning and the feeling of lightning flashing behind her made the effort worth it.

“Don’t tease me like that,” Younghyun swooned, clutching his heart. “I’m fragile.”

“I never tease,” she shot back. Well, she did. When asked nicely. 

Younghyun hung his head back, exposing the long column of his throat. “You’re doing it right now.”

“You started it,” she muttered, good-naturedly. “Would anyone be home at around six?”

“That would be me.”  _ And Sungjin _ , said Younghyun’s eyes.

“Perfect. You’re taking me to the supermarket.”

Younghyun’s glance flit toward Sungjin, answering the question in her eyes. “It would be my pleasure.”

A laugh bubbled out of her throat before she could hold it back. Why couldn’t Sungjin just lighten up and give her a good time for whatever days they have left like this? He’d been just a little bit teasing when he’d come for her at the shop a week ago, and he’d been putting on a show for her every morning, and damn it they were adults. They could talk about this and not skirt around the issue and he could just kiss her as much as he wanted and not leave her frustrated and angry.

“I’ll see you later,” she chuckled, walking out the door.

“See you.”

She was barely through the threshold when she stumbled back as bleary-eyed Jae, black hoodie over his head, and strings tied tight under his chin came ambling through the doorway. He yawned and wiped the sleep off his eyes from under his glasses. “Yo, there’s a dude outside looking for—” He flailed to a halt. “Oh, Miss Rian, good morning. You have a gentleman caller waiting for you outside.”

An uncomfortable silence fell over the room.

Wonpil waddled into the kitchen after Jae, scratching the back of his ear. “Why is there a mister outside with a bouquet of irises?”

Younghyun was red, cheeks puffy and lips shut tight, from holding back a laugh. “A bouquet of irises, you say?”

“Yeah,” Wonpil answered. “Something smells amazing.”

“Rian made breakfast,” Younghyun answered, presenting the, quite frankly, not so impressive spread with a flourish it did not deserve.

If she hadn’t meant to before, then she definitely meant to show them what a proper meal looked like at dinner tonight.

Wonpil joined Jae on the table and the two of them ate straight from the serving bowl. Whatever rush of emotion she may have felt for the boys could not adequately compensate for the unspeakable things they were doing to the bowl of fried rice. But she had committed to cooking for them, and, well, this was her bed now she would lay in it.

“Were you expecting someone?” Jae asked, looking up and reaching over for the plate of omelettes.

She was, but not here. At the shop. Discreetly, she glanced behind her just to check if Sungjin was still around. He was. He was poised at the kitchen counter like an oncoming storm.

“Someone from work,” she answered vaguely. “I’m making you dinner tonight, so please try not to…” She waved her hand in the air. “Burn the place down or something. And leave some breakfast for Dowoon…” Rian said before levelling Younghyun with a glare.

She didn’t wait for the room to respond and hurried out to the gym. Kim Woosung stood in the middle of the floor, out of place in his brown cable knit sweater and the irises in his hands. They’d met when Rian opened up shop. He was from the flower shop two blocks down, and she’d pass by his store on the way to work to pick up flowers for the table settings and sometimes for the cakes and garnish. It was mostly a professional relationship. Mostly because she was almost certain some of their business meetings might have been poorly disguised dates. She liked him enough. Not quite nearly as  _ intense _ , but she liked him.

“I know,” he said, smiling lopsidedly at her and pushing his bleached hair over his forehead. “I should’ve met you at the shop like we agreed but this place was on the way and…”

“You wanted to see for yourself?”

He shrugged, presenting her the flowers as a peace offering. “I wanted to…I know you said…”

“And I am safe here,” she assured him, taking the irises. Woosung wasn’t entirely on board with her decision to stay here, but it wasn’t as though his opinions held sway in the matter. She appreciated his concern, though. Accepted whatever value he gave her. “You don’t have to worry about that. Are these…?”

“From my garden. Not bad, huh? I can’t wait for you to see the blooms in the greenhouse.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked around. “Hard to believe you grew up in a place like this.”

She barely talked about her past, only sharing small snippets of a life she’d left behind. “Let’s go,” she said, worried the others were watching and listening. That they already were. “We only have the morning off. I promised Jaehyung I’d return you after lunch.”

Woosung nodded, pausing only when his eyes focused behind her. Rian didn’t even need to look. She heard the booming jabs against a punching bag and the snickering and bickering not far behind. Woosung’s eyes bounced between her and Sungjin, whatever words he had now stuck in his throat. Rolling her eyes, she linked her arm around Woosung’s elbow and lead him outside. The sun greeted them through a filter of clouds and it promised to be fair weather. Unlike inside, where a storm was brewing.

“I know you’re upset,” Woosung said softly as they turned down the street.

And she was. Woosung should not have shown up unannounced. Not only did she not like surprises, it was just inconvenient. And unnecessary when Sungjin and the rest of the boys were concerned. “I know why you showed up.”

“It doesn’t excuse the fact that I still did it, does it?” He titled his head at her, lips pursed in the beginnings of a pout. An almost effective tactic had she not had other things in mind.

“Absolutely not.”

“And making it up to you only feels self-serving at this point, doesn’t it?”

“That it does.” She sent him a sidelong glance. “But don’t let that stop you.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, smiling at her. “Can I take you out to brunch?”

“It’s the least you could do.”

If Sungjin didn’t want her, then fine. Rian was not going to waste her time on someone who refused to take accountability for his actions and his feelings. Forget it ever happened, Sungjin had said. The audacity to kiss her like  _ that  _ and claim it would never happen again? To kiss her and then take it back? Ugh.

Life was too short to be spent pining after the one that got away. Best to focus on what she had available to her at the present. Like work. Like the remaining ninety-three days. Like Woosung.

She looked up at him, but there was none of the feelings from last night.

Woosung smiled at her, like he knew what she was thinking.

And he probably did.

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

“I’m calling an emergency meeting,” Jae announced as soon as Sungjin stepped foot into the kitchen late that afternoon. He nodded at the empty chair Sungjin was supposed to occupy. “Boss, kindly settle your bumbum down over there if you please. We got a bunch of shit to cover on today’s agenda.”

Sungjin had always known he would regret giving Jae an emergency seat of power like this, but as acting team manager Jae did have the right to call a company meeting as he saw fit. But just because Jae could, didn’t mean Jae should.

Sungjin eased into his delegated spot at the head of the table. Coach used to sit at this spot. In the mornings, Coach used to be the first one up and Sungjin would often find him with a cigarette lit on an ashtray and a mug of brewed coffee, two sugars. Sometimes Sungjin still expected him to be there, stern expression on his face as he told him off for being late for breakfast at six in the morning. For lacking in discipline. For allowing his concentration to slip.

He’d allowed his concentration to slip.

So much for discipline.

Sungjin had been berating himself for all of the seventeen hours he’d been awake, unable to sleep after the kiss.

_What the fuck had he done last night?_

He’d run ten kilometres this morning. Then he’d showered under what felt like ice.

Hadn’t helped.

He could still feel Rian’s kiss on his lips and her hands on his skin.When he saw her in the kitchen earlier today, desire sucker punched him right in the solar plexus. The lust was raw, and primal, and crude. And completely wrong. Years he’d spent without the touch of a woman, and the discipline he had enforced to focus on his career, all knocked out right on the first round. If this were the fight he’d been training for, his coach would be very disappointed indeed.

And in the fight to convince her to sell the gym to him?

Sungjin wasn’t so confident about that either.

Jae cleared his throat to gather the table’s attention. He leaned over the table, eyes intense, or anyway as intense as Jae can get, behind his glasses. “Good afternoon, gentlemen. Welcome to strategy. Today’s agenda, as some of you might have guessed, is none other than Miss Rian re Inception: Clever and Subtle Ways To Convince The Lady the Gym is Our Baby.”

Sungjin stared straight forward, adamantly refusing to acknowledge the words.

To his left, Wonpil planted his elbows against the table and cupped his face in his hands. “I like Miss Rian,” he sighed. “She made us breakfast and she’s going to cook dinner for us. No one’s cooked for us in forever. She doesn’t have to do that but it’s a nice gesture, you know?”

Sungjin gave him a sharp look. That was not what Rian was here for and they knew it. They knew better than to allow themselves to get attached to her. He knew better than to disillusion himself into thinking she would come to care for them in any capacity at all. For him, most of all.

“And how do you suggest we go about doing that?” Younghyun stood behind Jae, back against the kitchen counter.

Sungjin was glad Younghyun asked, because he sure as fuck wasn’t going to. But truth be told, he was at the end of his patience. One week in and he was ready to throw in the towel just from wanting her. He doubted he had the mental capacity to be rational about convincing Rian to let them keep the gym long enough to win enough bouts to pay her selling price.

“As I am the man with a plan,” Jae explained, patting himself on the chest. “We gotta soften her up a little bit at least. Tinker here and there until it’s just right. Until she’s open to discussion. And then, when she’s ready and receptive, that’s when the gentle, slow, very careful easing in of the point we’re making. We gotta keep pushing for a happy middle. But like, you know, we’re not in much of a rush. Satisfaction guaranteed for everybody.

“Thusly,” Jae continued. “I move that Younghyun act as our liaison. Sweep her off her feet.”

“Why Younghyun?”

Even Wonpil, and Dowoon who was usually neutral in these matters, turned to Sungjin as though it was Sungjin, and only Sungjin, who was lost on the matter.

“No offence, boss,” Jae answered, casually. Borderline patronizing. “You’re very persuasive when you have to be intimidating, but I don’t think intimidation is the best approach here. The Miss requires more finesse and delicacy than what is currently at your disposal. Real honest-to-goodness talk, you’re not exactly Best In Emotions.”

“Furthermore,” Wonpil put in, “you’ve been living like a monk these past few years.”

Sungjin raised a brow. “So?”

“So,” said Jae, “you’re trained for a fight. Not for romance.”

“I think what Sungjin means,” Younghyun cut in, “is that there’s an ethical issue in seducing Rian into signing off the gym to us.”

Sungjin found ethical issues with being involved with Rian at all. Not for the gym. Not for anything. Rian was not for them.

Jae rubbed the bottom of his chin thoughtfully. “Seducing the Signature, I like that.”

“No one is seducing Rian.”

“Too late for that, don’t you think?” Jae said, glancing at Younghyun.

Sungjin felt a vein pop somewhere on his temple.

“The gentleman caller from this morning,” Jae explained. “That was not a professional meeting for business. That was a date and you know it. But until anything is official, we still have a chance at recovery. It’s only round one, gentlemen. We got this.”

Younghyun tilted his head in question. “And you think romancing Rian is really the way to go about this.”

Jae slammed his fist down his open palm. “I move the operation be renamed to Romancing Rian.”

Wonpil raised his hand. “I second emotion.”

“She’s the coach’s daughter,” Sungjin stressed, levelling Jae and Wonpil with a look.

“So?” Younghyun asked. As far as Sungjin was concerned, it was an invalid question. While it was true Sungjin had been the only one of them who had previously met her, it didn’t mean the others could take their liberties with her. Especially not Younghyun.

“So nobody is romancing Rian.”

“Because she’s the coach’s daughter,” Younghyun echoed.

Sungjin heard the teasing and the mocking. He saw it on Younghyun’s face too.

“I get it, Really, boss, I do. We get it.” Jae said, “He was our coach, too. But…he’s gone now. He’s at a better place. This is all we have left of him. You said so yourself, the Miss is predisposed to disposing off the property. We gotta fight for this. This is our home.”

Wonpil pursed his lips. “I know you said we shouldn’t worry about moving out, that there’s no reason to be looking at leases and stuff but it’s not like we have a Plan B.”

It came as no surprise that the boys were invested in this plan. They needed to feel in control, to feel as though they did their part in ensuring that the gym would permanently be theirs. Sungjin had a Plan B. But that was his burden alone. And as of the moment, he was letting them down.

“Maybe Sungjin should do it,” said the habitually quiet Dowoon.

“Maybe Sungjin _should_ do it,” Younghyun echoed, exponentially more annoying than what was necessary.

Jae blinked and adjusted his glasses with a twitch of his nose. “Really? You think so?”

Wonpil nodded sagely. “In the end it’s Miss Rian’s choice, but since you know her better maybe you _should_ try at least. You should tell her her eyes are pretty. Her eyes are really pretty.”

“You should really apply yourself,” Jae added, “think of it as match. One on one. Just you and Miss Rian on the other side of the ring. You hit her with your best shot. Say ‘Your eyes are lovely’ and really mean it.”

“There’s more to her than her eyes,” Younghyun laughed.

Sungjin did not like that Younghyun noticed more than Rian’s eyes.

“It’s really the only body part that’s safe to mention in polite company,” said Wonpil, “You can also talk about her smile. Her hair.”

“Her cooking,” Younghyun put in.

“You guys are missing out on the obvious here,” Jae said, leaning forward he was almost draped across the table.”

“And what would the obvious be?” asked Wonpil, pushing himself closer to Jae they were almost face to face.

Jae lowered his voice down to a whisper. “Miss Rian should see Boss here with his shirt off. Just…Park Sungjin in all his beautiful glory.”

Younghyun burst out in a laugh.

Wonpil looked like he just saw the gates of heaven.

Sungjin rolled his eyes and absently cracked his knuckles. It was a little too late for the suggestion, but the others did not need to know that. They did not need to know about anything about him and Rian at all.

“Think about it!” Jae said with a flourish, straightening up in his seat. “It’s night. Nearing midnight. It’s dark in the hallway. Quiet. There’s no one else around.”

With the flat of his palms Jae waved at the air as though he were opening up a scene in full cinematography. “You get into a hot steaming shower, crank the heat all the way up until it’s steaming inside, and you do your thing until you’re nice and toasty but before you’re pruny. And then of course The Miss will come around to the bathroom for whatever reason, perhaps she is simply on the way downstairs, doesn’t matter. What matters is that you come out at that exact moment. You swing the door wide open, spotlight on you, mist rising from behind, and you pretend not to notice her at first. You walk out in slow motion, like a god rising from the primordial fluids, like a phoenix rising from the ashes. You flick the water off your face and then you run your hand over your perfectly shaped head”—he jerked his head to the side and thrust his hand into his hair to demonstrate—“And then you don’t towel off just yet, you hold the towel over your manly bits for a touch of mystery while the beads of water trickle down your manly shoulders and manly broad chest.” His fingers danced down his torso. “You see it, right?”

Younghyun snorted. “So he’s supposed to wait in the bathroom like a creep?”

“You can’t deny she’ll see something really impressive and be really impressed,” Jae defended.

“Ah!”

They all snapped to Dowoon’s sudden outburst.

“What if,” Dowoon said, “What if when you’re training outside, doing your drills, punching stuff, being really so cool, someone brings Miss Rian out there and when she comes out, you don’t notice her there either, you just grab your water, take a sip, and then pour it down your head”—Dowoon demonstrated the scene as well, closing his eyes and letting the pretend water drench him—“you know, like in the dramas. Then you go back to training like nothing happened.”

Everyone laughed. Except Sungjin.

“You can’t go wrong with that one, Boss,” Jae said. “Mark my words, The Miss won’t be able to see you as anything but Mr. Manly Man and she won’t be able to resist you.”

“Or,” Younghyun offered, “You could have a conversation? Maybe ask her out somewhere to catch up? When was the last time she saw her dad? She must be grieving in her own way. One moment she’s living her life and then suddenly she’s here, living with a bunch of guys. It can’t be easy for her. She has to get to know us. She’s got to get to know _you_. Open up to her. Show her that deep inside that rough exterior is a brutally soft soul. Crack yourself open, help her understand that you’re broken too. That there are parts of you you hide from the world, but you’re offering it up to her. Vulnerability is what she needs to see from you if you want her to listen to what you have to say. She deserves that much.”

The mood grew solemn.

“I still think my idea is better,” Wonpil said, letting the meaning of his words sink into Sungjin. “You should really try it.”

Sungjin scoffed in response.

He would be a fool to believe he had anything Rian needed. Even if he were to crack himself wide open, she would find nothing of value. All he had were his fists, blood and sweat, and those were not things one laid at her feet. Coach had wanted to protect his only daughter from the kind of violence they traded in and Sungjin would not be the one to drag her back into their world. Rian should not settle for anything less.

“Or we could just go the path of least resistance,” Jae said. “Just ask her out to the movies or something. Like a date-date. When was the last time you went out on a date? Ask her what she wants to do? She’s a lady. Give her some flowers. Take her somewhere nice. Don’t they like having excuses to look pretty? Just make her feel special, you know?”

“I don’t think all girls like all the same things.”

“They all like feeling pretty,” Younghyun assured him. “They all like those things, especially when you do it exactly the way they like and not some generic thing you got off the internet. Take for example, the irises. Ask yourself why that guy didn’t give her roses.”

Sungjin resisted the urge to run his hands over his face in frustration. These guys knew him too well. They’ve lived together long enough, have gone through more than anyone should in one lifetime. He trusted them as much as they trusted him. Still, it didn’t mean he could just let them see how much this troubled him. Sungjin was still responsible for them.

Perhaps they were right. Perhaps Younghyun and Jae had valid points after all. Rian had said so herself, that he should have understood why she never even went to her father’s funeral. If they could have just one conversation without wanting to throttle each other—if he could just go through one hour with her without wanting to forget their past and just have her in the present, then maybe they could be on to something.

And maybe after that he could find out if she were seduceable after all?

No.

Not that.

He exhaled loudly. Sungjin knew what he had to do.

“At least _attempt_ to be nice to the lady,” Jae said. “You don’t gotta always be so mad at her.”

Younghyun, however, seemed to understand where the anger was coming from. “Maybe try not to let the fact that she’s the coach’s daughter get into your head. She’s a grown woman with a mind of her own. She deserves to be her own person and not the girl you met years ago or the idea you have in your head.”

One of these days, Sungjin would have to just slip and give Younghyun a good right cross to the nose. It would be well deserved and worth it.

Sungjin didn’t know Rian as a person. That was true. He’d had glimpses of her, and what glimpses of her he’d had, he’d wanted for so long. And maybe she still wanted the same thing as she had all those years ago.

Perhaps Rian just needed a bit of attention.

A little bit of doting.

The kind of consideration she should have been receiving. The kind she deserved and more.

And even though the fulfilment of his promises would come years late, at least they would come at all for what it was worth at present.

Sungjin cursed under his breath. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“Better believe it,” Younghyun said at the sound of the main doors opening. “You’re gonna have to do it right now.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

The moment Rian entered the kitchen, a vague sense of regret sank into her.

Jae immediately shot up from his seat, knocking the chair to the floor and losing his balance, flapping his arms for about a split second before regaining his footing. “I really need to go take a nap,” he muttered. “I’m gonna go take a nap. Like right now. I’m gonna go right now.” Then without pulling his chair up, he ambled out of the kitchen and dragged his feet up the stairs.

“Dowoon and I have to go do that thing,” Wonpil said to no one in particular, tapping his finger on his chin. “Yeah, remember we said we’d do that thing?” He stood up, waiting for Dowoon to follow him.

Dowoon looked up at Wonpil, head tilted and mouth agape in confusion. After a moment, he snapped his mouth shut. “Oh. Yes. That thing.”

Then they were out the kitchen, waving goodbye at her and leaving her standing at the threshold with Younghyun leaning against the counter looking at least fifty shades of amused and Sungjin looking extra surly in his seat at the head of the table. Rian shot them both her best, “Children, what’s happening here?” gaze, and Younghyun had the nerve to grin at her. Sungjin, though. Sungjin kept his eyes on the ground like only the guilty would.

“I’m gonna go upstairs and freshen up,” she said, resigned to her fate. “Whoever is left in here will go with me to the supermarket. Does that makes things easier for you?” She shot a glance at Younghyun who grinned at her.

“I…” Younghyun laid a hand on his chest. “I’m not even going to try. I’m not even going to make an excuse.” He jut his chin at Sungjin. “Take that one with you. He needs to get out more.”

 _Do it for the team_ , she thought she heard him silently plead.

 _Please do it for the greater good_.

And what of the greater good of her emotional balance?

“Fifteen minutes,” she said, “Be ready in fifteen minutes.”

  
Thirty minutes later, she was at the local supermarket with Sungjin pushing a grocery cart behind her. The journey was tortuous at best. From the moment she stepped back into the kitchen, to the drive in his pickup truck, and all the way to the supermarket, Sungjin had refused to look at her or speak to her. With the way things were going, Rian suspected the rest of the grocery run would be the same.

Sungjin was ignoring her, his silence easy and off putting.

As reasonable and patient as she considered herself to be—which was more and beyond the expectations of her—Rian could only take so much. She didn’t deserve this.While she could match his silence with silence, she was unable to keep quiet any longer. It was the principle of the thing. Rian would not allow Sungjin to assert his dominance over her in this manner.

Now if he were to assert his dominance over her in a consensual and responsible manner then there were a few conversation key points she might want to bring up.

But, no.

Here they were, standing in front of the produce section _not_ talking.

Determined to regain the upper hand, she turned to him, “Younghyun gave me a shopping list and said it’s protein night tonight and the choice of protein is yours. Do you want to just split the list and meet back up after thirty minutes?”

Sungjin licked his lips when he was thinking; Rian couldn’t help notice it now after she’d noticed it the first time before. So now her thoughts were on his lips. His lips that had been on her lips. And that her problem was that his lips weren’t anywhere near her lips. Or that those lips were not likely to be on her lips, or anywhere else on her, anywhere in the foreseeable future.

Ugh. Sungjin could be such a knucklehead.

They could be kissing right now.

Still scowling from beneath the bill of his cap, he pushed the cart forward. “What’s the first thing on that list?”

“I’m not going to go around the supermarket with you when you’re acting like you’d rather be literally anywhere else but with me.” Children throwing tantrums were not a new thing for her, there was always one or another at the shop and she had more than enough patience to deal with those. Grown men acting like children, however, did not deserve her patience. No matter how attractive they were. “I know the others have somehow twisted your arm into coming here with me, but we are fully grown adults capable of dealing with this in a civilised manner,” she continued. “I know it must be very frustrating for you not being able to punch things, but if you could just use your words for an hour like a decent human being, I would appreciate that very much. Please and thank you.”

She thought she heard him grunt in response.

Rian would have taken it as assent but she knew better than to assume what Sungjin meant until he used his words. And even then, she couldn’t possibly put her faith in him after all this time. She had been made the fool once before, she wouldn’t allow whatever attraction she felt for him sway her decisions.

Now if he could just settle whatever internal battle he was having in his head and get over himself, they could have an adult conversation about working out an arrangement regarding all this unresolved sexual tension between them.

Just to, you know, get it done and over with.

Get each other out of their systems.

Communication was key.

Drawing on years of yoga and breathing exercises, Rian called forth one last reserve of her dwindling patience. “Why won’t you just talk to me?”

“What’s there to talk about?”

“Everything,” she sighed, throwing her palms in the air. They had spent years dancing around having a conversation, always beating around the figurative bush and talking in circles without ever arriving to the point.

Sungjin averted his gaze and pushed the cart forward. “If we talk about everything, will you change your mind about the gym?”

“There is nothing you can do or say.” The lingering hurt spoke the words for her. The gym and Sungjin were poking at her barely healed wounds, the same hurt that had ambushed her and brought her back despite herself. The Real Rian—non-confrontational, protective of her own safe spaces, and who believed in the healing magic in the heart and warmth of a cup of chocolate—would have signed away everything that would only remind her of the pain she had buried away. Instead, she had inserted herself back into the narrative, thinking only of how to hurt the person who had hurt her the most.

Never mind that she could barely compartmentalise her unwanted wanting.

“But we could at least attempt to get along,” she said, finally.

The words seemed to turn something in his head. Either that or Sungjin just happened to be very selective in his choice of greens. Rian could see that being a possibility. And easily.

“Is that why you’re doing this?”

Rian picked through rosettes of lettuce, heads of garlic, and various peppers, calculating her recipe and how much five men starved of proper food can eat in one sitting. “I’m doing several things at the same time right now. Be specific.”

“Making dinner.”

“No,” she confessed, weighing the lettuce in her hand. “Do not mistake this for anything other that what it is. I’m making the boys dinner because pizza, while perfectly delightful, provides absolutely no real comfort after a too long week.”

“You’re making them dinner because you feel sorry for them?”

“I’m making dinner because it’s been a long week for _me_.” She shot him down with a gaze. The least she could ask for was someone to appreciate her cooking, and the preview from that morning promised her plenty of validation tonight. “It’s not my responsibility to soften the blow for how this ends, so don’t you even dare think that I will be doing your job for you.”

“My job?”

She knew better than engage a topic she was not yet willing to broach, so she curved the conversation elsewhere. “What have you been feeding those boys?”

Sungjin sighed. “They’re not children.”

She ignored that and loaded her choice of produce into the cart. “Nevertheless, I will feed them as I like and this and that are two separate things.”

“No,” Sungjin answered, rearranging the vegetables into neatly partitioned sections. “I know better than to think you feel any guilt about this.”

She turned and walked away to not let him see how those words affected her. Guilt had nothing to do with it, Rian was still her father’s daughter and she refused to leave any opponent so defeated and stripped of honour. It wasn’t guilt. It was respect.

Sungjin, of all people, should have understood that.

And these boys, they would not be collateral damage to her personal vendetta against Sungjin.

“Have you decided on your protein?”

The question caught him off guard, Sungjin simply stared at her unable to answer.

This brought her far more satisfaction than she liked to admit. “Then you will just have to settle for steak. I will make you and your team this damn dinner. You can choose to join us or not, but it will make _me_ feel better to cook for someone. Because I’ve had a long and stressful week and cooking makes me feel better.”

She didn’t need to look behind her to know Sungjin was following her through the supermarket aisles, and she proceeded as though the last few minutes and the conversation that came with it didn’t happen. They were silent again, speaking only to communicate directions or to ask about dietary needs, preferences, and food allergies. Sungjin knew his boys well, something Rian had hoped against because now she was beginning to feel things for him again, much to her chagrin.

She found retaliation at the checkout counter. Few things in this life quite equalled the sense of victory she felt when she beat him to paying for the bill. He frowned at her, then at the auntie behind the register, when he found out she had already paid for everything. She did allow him to do all the heavy lifting. After all, the view benefited her more than what sense of usefulness he might have thought he reclaimed from her.

They drove back to the gym in silence, walked into the kitchen in silence, and Rian had not felt relief like she did when she found Younghyun and Wonpil waiting for them.

Wonpil perked up at the sight of them and raised his hand. “I’ll help you make dinner.”

Sungjin headed straight to the counter to deposit the groceries. “No.”

“But—”

“No.”

Rian strode up to the sink to wash her hands. “Then _you_ help me,” she said to Younghyun. “The rest of you get out of my kitchen.”

Sungjin scoffed. “Your kitchen?”

But Rian already had her back turned to him, her hands under the faucet letting the cool water soothe her nerves. “Yes. Now get out. Younghyun will call for you when dinner is ready.”

Wonpil muttered a gutted okay but did as he was told. Sungjin lingered by the threshold for a long moment before walking back to the gym.

To Younghyun, she shot a knowing glance. “Oh, do be quiet. I can hear your thoughts. Make yourself useful. Steam the rice then grab a bowl and come over here.”

 

After a successful dinner with all the food demolished, Jae, Wonpil, and Dowoon—much to Younghyun’s enjoyment—hunkered down for what promised to be an intense rock-paper-scissors tournament to play for who washed the dishes. Rian hated to pull the plug on this so unceremoniously. It looked fun, and far be it from her to deny anyone a bit of a laugh, but she needed her peace and quiet.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, clearing the table of plates and cups. “You guys can go ahead and leave all this to me.”

Jae opened his mouth to protest, but Sungjin beat him to it and Jae snapped his mouth shut and dropped his eyes to the table.

“Let them do it,” Sungjin said, rougher than Rian thought he might have intended. “You worked hard tonight. You can go ahead.”

“It’s really no trouble,” Rian answered, returning to the table and clearing the last of the dishes. All she wanted was to be alone now, left to this mindless, repetitive task. She turned on the faucet, letting the dishes soak for a few seconds.

“Then I’ll do it.” He stepped next to her in front of the sink. From her periphery, she saw the rest of the boys make a swift and silent exit. Smart. This man next to her? Not so smart. “Let me do that for you,” Sungjin said, his voice gentle and soft.

It was all just so unfair.

“No.” Her voice came out breathless. Damn him. “You do not get to take away what little comfort I can squeeze into living with you.”

For the first time, Sungjin actually looked offended. “Won’t it be easier if we do it together? Then you can walk away from me and not have to see me again for the rest of the night.”

No. Doing the dishes together would make life infinitely more difficult. Yet she couldn’t muster the fight in her to argue so she let him, hating herself for the weakness in her surrender. Sungjin was too close, the heat of him and their elbows brushing against each other doing things to her resolve. All her senses felt frayed, the water was cold on her hands but her face was warm; her pulse was beating fast but time seemed to slow. And when their hands touched in the sudsy water, she thought she would lose it all.

“Thank you for dinner,” he muttered after they were done.

“You’re welcome.”

Dinner wasn’t at all intolerable despite Sungjin’s presence. The others had more than made up for it, eating so well and making her feel like she’d won something even when what she gave them was hardly a feast. But she accepted it, the laughter and the jokes. She deserved this, too. Just as much as the boys deserved to sit down with a table filled with homemade cooking made with fondness. And Rian loved it. She loved the full table, of seeing all seats occupied. It made her heart feel full somehow. It made her forget all the family dinners wishing they didn’t have such a big table or wishing her father would magically appear in his seat.

“Rian, I’m sorry.”

At first, there was shock. Sungjin’s softness was always unexpected. His gentleness came at the most inconvenient of times, and she found that she was never prepared for it. His low rasp grated at her nerves and pierced through her defences, reminded her that she understood nothing about all her needs and wants. She’d had friendship and she’d had support. But she’d never really had what she wanted from Sungjin.

But then there were the words. The one word.

Sorry for what, she wanted to ask.

Was he sorry for what he said at the supermarket?

Was he sorry for kissing her?

Was he sorry for saying he would never kiss her or touch her again?

Was he sorry for standing her up when he asked her out the summer before high school?

Was he sorry for taking all her father’s favor?

Was he sorry for letting her father’s health diminish until it was too late?

Or, perhaps the worst, was he sorry for her loss?

What good would his apologies be? Nothing he can say or do would change the past. He still would have hurt her. His apologies would not unbreak her heart.

And yet she wanted…

The thought arrested her before she could complete thinking about it.

She wanted him to make her feel better.

Rian wanted to fall into his arms so he could comfort her, so he could assure her of the words he had just said, to put an end to all this not-fighting. And if he were to hold her tonight, Rian didn’t think she could resist him. She would forgive him for _everything_. And perhaps she would.

She wiped her hands on a kitchen towel, waiting for, with a feeling she didn’t have words for, something. Anything.

But he didn’t reach out for her. It seemed only fitting that all Sungjin could say was, “I guess that’s it. Good night.” Then he stepped away and climbed up the stairs.

 


End file.
